Democratic Debauchery
by MysticHysteria
Summary: It's been a busy few weeks since Sydney won Student Council President, and the stressors are already starting to pile on. Every campus club wants funding, the guys have been bickering like crazy, and Tyler's plans after graduating are... more than concerning. Then an embezzling scandal makes matters even worse!


Sydney White scores and SAU's student body breaks records!

Sydney White (Freshman) slides into the victor's circle and snatches the student council crown from long-reigning Queen, Rachel Witchburn (Junior).

Running on a platform of cultural and financial equality, White gained the support of more than half of SAU's student population. That's a 35% increase in total voters when comparing numbers from the last student council election held. That's a record breaking 84% of the SAU student body that participated in this election! The faculty, professors, and staff here at the Atlantic Alibi want to thank all of SAU's students for voting for Sydney White, especially that 35% of you, so we're throwing an ice cream social in the lobby at 7pm on Friday, the 12th. There will be limited supplies, so first come first serve!

We would also like to extend a special thank you to Sydney White and the residents of the vortex! The Atlantic Alibi stood firmly with the Freedom to the 7th Power party and want to congratulate the campaign team personally! Please drop into Alibi HQ sometime this week to receive a special gift and thank you from the SAU news staff!

By Rina Belfonte

* * *

"Hey guys," Lenny half-yelled over the noise of orcs grunting and swords clashing, "we're in the Alibi!"

"Aw, what's it say?" Sydney turned from the stove where she was frying eggs and bacon in the same pan. A trick she picked up from her father who picked it up from Big Rob at the worksite, who swears it makes the eggs taste better. To be honest, Sydney's not sure if it actually does, but making her breakfast this way reminds her of her dad, so she does it anyway.

"What's the Alibi?" George asked, eyes darting back and forth from Lenny sitting at the kitchen table and the game in front of him that he wasn't playing.

"The school newspaper," Lenny, Sydney, and Gurkin replied at the same time. George heard whirled around, looking for someone to focus on, before deciding to just turn back to the TV.

Gurkin continued, cutting off Sydney who looked as if she was poised to speak, "If you can call it one, anyway. They can barely write, and when they do manage to form complete sentences they talk about absolutely nothing. It's a waste of paper."

Lenny, through a mouthful of gluten-free, grain-free, sugar-free, fiber mush, said "Actually, they've gone paperless."

Gurkin grimly glanced up from his laptop, "A waste of cyberspace then."

"Gurkin, they were a huge help in the election. They ran those ads on their website? Let us use their copier for the posters we had to reprint? Remember?" Sydney said, slightly annoyed, as she carried her rather heavy plate of food to the table. Now that the entirety of SAU's student body was looking to her for leadership, she was finding Gurkin's little rants less and less tolerable. It was fine, welcomed even, when he abstractly challenged ideologies of nazis or incels, or vented about capitalism, etcetera. But lately, Gurkin's unrelenting rage was honed in on the very group of people he claimed he was fighting for just a few weeks ago; obsessed, now, with nitpicking everything about the way SAU is run. Sydney often joked to Lenny about calling him a fascist, but they both agreed he'd lose his fucking shit. She wanted to tell him to shut up, but instead took a big bite of bacon to keep her mouth occupied.

"Dude, shut up" Sydney coughed, worried for a moment that her mouth had betrayed her, but that wasn't her voice, though she was thankful for it. It was Spanky's coming from the living room.

Gurkin turned and looked at Spanky who paused Skyrim, much to George's dismay.

Spanky didn't bother turning to look at Gurkin, but continued, sounding ragged, "I have died six times now, please for the love of God Gurkin, stop whining." Spanky didn't wait for a response and unpaused the game. He died immediately. "FUCK!" Spanky tossed the controller into Umbele's lap and buried his head in his palms. Umbele had previously been asleep, even through the yelling, but was wide awake as soon as the xbox controller landed near him. Other than one yawn, it was like he hadn't been asleep at all.

"It's really not my fault you suck," Gurkin smirked while turning back to his laptop.

"IT'S BECAUSE I'M STRICTLY USING ARCHERY AND ALCHEMY ON THIS PLAYTHROUGH, GURKIN." Spanky yelled, head still in his hands.

George paused for a beat, then raised a finger in confusion and said, "but didn't you just use a longsword?"

Spanky let out a muffled yell and Gurkin chuckled.

"GUYS!" Lenny yelled.

"I used the sword because I was trying not to DIE!" Spanky said raising his head and ignoring Lenny.

Gurkin laughed, "Guess it didn't help."

"GUYS!" Lenny and Sydney both yelled; together they were loud enough to break the two petite men from their squabbling.

"Thank you," Sydney said sarcastically and gestured for Lenny to read the article.

* * *

"So, we are getting fed, yes?" Umbele asked, leaning against one of the pillars that stood outside the Atlantic Alibi's headquarters. Really it was just an addition added onto the back of the library building in the 70s, but the original news staff were big noir film nerds.

"No, I don't know," Sydney said, "I mean, we definitely should come back tonight for the ice cream, but it doesn't say what they're giving us."

"It can't be food, they said come any time this week. They wouldn't have food just on hand like that." Gurkin's attitude had melted slightly after Lenny had actually read the gang the news article. Maybe they weren't quite as douchey as he originally thought. Plus, he figured Sydney did have a point with the whole support during the election thing. Not that supporting that witch would've benefitted them in any way, he thought, but still.

"Finally!" Spanky loudly sighed in relief, breaking Gurkin's train of thought. Jeremy and Lenny had just rounded the corner.

"Sorry! Jeremy said you said 3pm, but then Dinky saw us and said you actually said 2pm, but we were in the math building so we had to run, but then my asthma started acting up," Lenny huffed, a sheen of sweat visible on his forehead.

"Then_ my_ asthma acted up," Jeremy nodded in agreeance.

Sydney and the six guys (Terrence had long since graduated and moved to Silicon Valley) filed into Alibi's HQ. The building's double doors opened into a long, poorly lit hallway, which always struck Sydney as an odd design choice every time she visited their office (which admittedly wasn't often). She did, however, think the corkboard walls were cute. The news staff from a few years back decided to make the hallways less creepy and actually useable by having corkboard from the ceiling to the floor. Now there were posters, psas, ads, pictures, recipes, random notes, literally anything corkboard-able you can think of lining the walls to distract from the hall's eerieness.

The 7th Power Party took the sharp left at the end of the hallway and entered the actual Alibi office.

Only half of the staff was actually present, four were crowded around the fifth reporter's laptop, and another two were laughing by the camera lockers.

The two girls laughing looked over first, and smiled when they realized who had walked in.

"Sydney!" The brunette briskly crossed the room and took Sydney's hand in her own, "Congrats! We knew you'd win! Thank you so much for coming!"

Sydney winced at both the girl's pep and her incredibly cold hands, but the brunette didn't seem to notice. She knew that she had met all of the staff during the campaign, but couldn't remember the peppy brunette's name for the life of her. Damn, she was usually pretty good at this kinda stuff.

"Oh, you know, I couldn't have done it without your help," Think, Sydney, think! What was this girl's name?

"Oh, please," the brunette chuckled and released Sydney's hand, "We all know that's not true. Anyway, the surprise! Let me go get Rina." With that, the brunette disappeared from Sydney's view as quickly as she came, and Sydney sighed in relief. She still hadn't been able to picture a name.

"Who was that?" Sydney whispered to Spanky at her side.

"You mean my future wife?"

Sydney groaned.

* * *

A/N: idk tbh


End file.
